My Tiny Feud

I’ve really been looking forward to trying Jeni’s. Influencers love Jeni’s. A friend in Chicago loves Jeni’s. Joe Biden loves Jeni’s. The flavors sound interesting and dynamic. I had a couple of reservations but was sure the goods would deliver.

My friends… you know I try not to say mean things. I appreciate the existence of ice cream in (nearly) all its forms. It is against my principles to do anything that might harm a small business. But y’all, Jeni’s is doing just fine. (I, however, may never be an ice cream influencer after this!) Keep reading for two red flags and the scoop.

Red Flag #1: I bought Jeni’s cookbook in the early days of quarantine when I was making lots of ice cream, and the introduction/backstory rubbed me the wrong way.

Red Flag #2: In January someone from Jeni’s attacked a food journalist who suggested the brand might be able to utilize their political capital for good (without naming Jeni’s)… yikes??? I’m not sure how well links to twitter work but try it and scroll all the way to the top.

The scoop: This ice cream was difficult to track down in my market (only carried in the fanciest grocery stores), VERY EXPENSIVE, and… N O T G R E A T. The texture was slightly crystallized (perhaps visible in the previous photo), suggesting it had partially melted and re-frozen. I transported it home in a cooler full of ice packs, so that’s not the step in its life where the melting happened. One flavor was bland* and one was aggressive^, and both had “crumbles” in them (cornmeal and toast, respectfully)… everyone knows Sweet Tooth Tracy loves a chunky ice cream but the crumbles were NOT a good time.

*Salted honey pie, described as “honey custard with sea salt and a savory cornmeal crumble.”
^Ricotta toast with red berry geranium jam, described as “Fresh ricotta. Crusty crumbs of seeded toast. Juicy, sweet-tart jam of strawberry, raspberry, and a hint of geranium.”

Like, I had trouble finishing my artful-wine-glass serving. I ended up giving the rest away. No larger than a pint is, and as thrifty as I am (EACH PINT WAS $10 Y’ALL), and I couldn’t eat the whole thing. Will I give Jeni’s a shot in person sometime, when I can pick my own flavors (these were the only options at the grocery store) and I’m not as far away on the supply chain? I mean, sure, if there’s not somewhere else to try. But Jeni’s so far leaves a bad taste in my mouth. Ohioans and Chicagoans, and influencers with freezers full, what am I missing???

And I’ll close with self-reflection. Would I treat a male-owned or corporate brand the same way as I am this brand that is very much associated with one woman? The closest comparison I can think of is Halo Top, a male-owned brand that is a self-professed participant in diet culture. My thought is “well no, I won’t even write about Halo Top because I KNOW I won’t like it.” I wanted to give Jeni’s a chance. I wanted to be wowed by the flavors and set aside the red flags! But on the other hand, did I go out of my way to say something bad about Jeni’s, when I could have just ignored it like I’m ignoring Halo Top? That is the question and oh boy I’ll be pondering it.